The Beginning Of The End
by Misty598
Summary: Clare only wanted to have fun with her closest friends, but when she's in the wrong place at the wrong time will she ever see any of them again? Or will she continue her life watching everybody else from a higher place- thats not heaven nor is it hell.
1. The Beginning Of The End

**I KNOW I do a lot of these stories, and don't continue them but I just love where this is going and hey, its my profile, but this idea is so different I love it! And I am not copying anyone else's idea's this might sound a little similar to the lovely bones at first but it will change *If I decide to continue it* PLEASE read and tell me if I should make more to this, I really do like where it is going :) **

Alli said I needed to try something new, a short skirt and a halter top, it was my seventeenth birthday so I said what the hell.

Alli did my make-up hair; she even picked out my accessories. I looked hot. Well at least I thought I did, I was finally coming out of my shell, the shell I had been trapped in for much too long. We were ready to go, Alli and I were going to meet Fiona and Adam at a restaurant, and Eli and Drew said they would join later. So we started to walk down the main streets of Toronto, the lights were outstanding, Alli insisted we take pictures together outside of the café for facer-range, but then when she couldn't upload them because of the lack of wireless internet she went into the café to get a signal and use the washroom, I said I would stay outside, to have a minute to myself. Little did I know these would be my last minutes.

I heard a guy, sounding drunk, cursing at the air. I squinted my eyes because of the darkness and he got closer to me, the closer he got I could hear him scream more, it sounded as if he was yelling at me. I looked through the café windows, Alli had just went into the washroom, but knowing her it could be a while till she came out. I lingered towards the door, but I dropped my cell phone in the process, I couldn't hear the guy anymore so when I looked for him I sighed in relief when I didn't see him around the corner like before, he must have taken off the other way. I bent over and grabbed my phone, picking it up from the ground, right before I could get a grip on it; it vibrated sending it a foot in the other direction that was slightly down hill. I quickly saw the text message that Eli had sent

_You're not going to ditch me tonight right? ;) _

rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone, but before I could stand straight up I felt two hands gripped around my waist.

"Elena, I told you that you'd regret leaving me, now you must pay bitch" I heard a raspy voice say. My name wasn't Elena, it was Clare. I realized it was the same guy before that I'd thought went the other direction; he must have hidden in the alley. Before I could scream he covered my mouth and took out a pocket knife.

He threw me into the alley far enough where I could barely see the entrance, tears where burning my eyes when I silently prayed to god to forgive me for any sins I had committed, I suddenly regret everything I had ever done, telling off Jenna, getting matching piercings with Eli, disrespecting my parents when they went through their divorce, throwing myself at Eli when I was at my lowest point, I regretted everything. I wish I hadn't lost my nickname 'Saint Clare'.

He pushed me into the wall so hard my head cracked on the wall sending bolts of pain in every direction down my body; in the distance I could hear Alli saying my name repetitively. I cried harder and screamed I'm not Elena million of times, but he kept saying I was a lying whore. He lowered the blade to my neck and made a cut about an inch thick, I he cut into my windpipe so I could no longer scream, he slit my neck far enough to kill me, I was actually thankful I didn't half to indulge the suffering when he repetitively stabbed me in the stomach, chest and lower back. This was the beginning of the end, I was now about to find out what happens after you die, if my parents were right about our beliefs and heaven, or if I was to suffer through pain and angst until somebody disposed of my lifeless body.

**More or not? You pick, and some how Clare wont be alone, but not with Eli, or any romantic interest :) Please tell me why you think :) *BTW I love lengthy comments :)* **


	2. The Explanation's

I didn't know where I was, but I was on a beach, watching the waves pass by, Eli was by my side, his arms securely around my waist, the ocean breeze swept my hair back and the sun warmed up every inch of me from head to toe. Then it all vanished. Everything, Eli wasn't by my side and it started down pouring, lighting coming from everywhere I looked. The waves so big, they seemed as if they could drown you with one sweep. I tried to get up, but I couldn't like someone grabbed me by my ankles and chained them down. I screamed, but I wasn't heard. Then the scene changed again.

It was nothing, it was all white, and then slowly someone appeared, A girl with long black hair and dark brown Eyes.

"What's happening?" I screamed, tears seemed as if they should be falling down my face, but my cheeks were dry.

"I'm Julia." The girl said, I was confused, then I remembered when Eli took me to the park, he killed a- Julia, also his room, the picture. It was _his_ Julia, the girl that he thought he killed.

"Please, I am so sorry, don't hurt me, I am so sorry for being with Eli" I pleaded, I see why she would kill me.

"Clare, I'm not going to kill you, far from it actually it would be kind of hard-, anyways I had to go through this scary-ass process alone, and I wouldn't even wish that on you, even the girl who stole my soul-mate" Julia looked mad, at first then burst out laughing.

"I'm kidding! Clare lighten up!" I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Where am I? What process?" I asked trying to stand up once again. This time I could stand, no imaginary chains were keeping me down.

"You're dead" She said shrugging her shoulders. "There is no point in screaming, or crying, because it doesn't bring you back" Julia offered her hand to help me up, I grabbed her hand a got on my feet, I didn't feel different, then again I'm not sure what being dead feels like.

"I'm… Dead?" I asked running a hand through my hair.

"Yup, I saw the whole thing happened, so I waited for you." Julia smiled.

"Waited for me where, where is this?" I asked looking around at the all white canvas.

"Well, this isn't heaven, and not hell, unless you're scared of white…" she said "But where you're going to go is where ever you want, a place called, Grassi" She said linking arms with me.

"Grassi? Like De-Grassi? How do I get there?" I asked looking at her.

"Simple, just run and nothing like De-Grassi, its nothing like your old high school or highschool in general" And with that we took off running, as fast as I could, then all I saw was a town, or a city, with a bunch of people I knew who were dead.

"How did you?" I started to ask,

"It's a dead thing" she said, I saw a huge city with dozens of people I knew- or used to walking around. Julia pulled me over to a bench by a huge fountain and kids playing in it, the thought of a bunch of dead kids made me feel sick, until I realized I was one of them.

"I am going to explain this now, Okay, this is the main town, but you can go literally where ever you want, to the beach, mall, a city, anything. You can also see earth when ever you're at the beach, just look out into the ocean and you will see what's happening with your friends, family, or you can ever watch a concert if you'd like, it's like a big screen TV" she explained

"But-"

"It's sometimes painful to watch, and yes, you definitely can go back down to earth whenever you want you just have to go to the very bottom of the ocean, but nobody can see you. And you can move objects and scare the shit out of someone" Julia smiled, but it soon faded.

"But it hurts most to see someone you love moving on, especially with another girl…" Julia looked down into her lap, where she had folded her hands.

"Julia- I am so incredibly sorry- I would have never-" I said. Julia looked up and gave me a small smile.

"I know you made Eli happy, I am- was okay with that, well I was eventually" she said chuckling.

"It takes a long time to get your mind wrapped around the fact about being dead, and you can't die here, I tried killing myself, but it just doesn't work, but you can still feel the pain" I glanced down and her arm, it had a foot long scar from her wrist up. She quickly pulled down the sleeve of her shirt.

"As I said, It doesn't work"-Julia but her lip-"Do you having any questions?" She asked meeting my gaze once again.

"When, Eli or- any of my friends or family dies- will they come here?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady.

"Yeah, They will- oh you can move on to heaven, but you're stuck there, and usually people wait for their loved ones to die first… I've been waiting for-"

"Eli" I finished her sentence.

"Yeah, but then he found you and didn't commit suicide-" She started again, I could feel my eyes widen.

"What?" I asked in a worried tone.

"Oh he's going to kill me for saying that-" We both looked at each other and started hysterically laughing.

After us both calmed down Julia continued.

"He wanted to die after I did, and he tried drugs, inhalants, CeCe stopped him once, but he tried again and failed. Then the next day, he ran over your glasses, he threw out all but one of his sharpies… The one he colored his nails with" Julia laughed.

"He would always color his nails black, but he would never tell me why, but every time something bad happened, like a fight between us, or his parents, he would remove the sharpie from one hand… And I think every time he took one off, was the closer he was to ending it- his life I mean" She let out a shaky breath.

"When I met him, he only had one nail colored, his pinky, then when I walked in the next day he was coloring his nails" I said and looked up at Julia who had had he lips pressed in a line.

"I saved his life" I whispered. Julia nodded and started crying.

"I am so sorry" I said gently rubbing her shoulder.

"When you're dead, you become extremely selfish" She said, tears still falling.

"I don't blame you" I said in my most sensitive voice.


	3. Checking Up

**Okay, I will try to update frequently, but its kinda hard cause of school so there will be a chapter-a-week thing going. Okay? Enjoy!**

Julia and I sat on the bench for a little while longer, mostly discussing Eli, the more we talked the more I wanted him. I missed Eli, my Eli. If I wasn't with his dead- or alive now- ex girlfriend I would be crying, screaming his name in agony. But I had to put on my happy face for her.

"Do you want to check up on your family?" Julia asked. I nodded my head and we started to walk down the street. I followed close behind her.

"The beach is this way-" She pointed to a sign that said pier point.

"If you want to be alone I understand, I'll just go- somewhere else" she said as I started towards the pier point. It looked exactly like any other beach, the pavement got more and sandier until I was walking on hot crystals of sand. I saw the ocean; it was a pretty blue green color. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. When I got to the middle of the beach I just stared out into the ocean, watching the waves lap against the sand. I sat on a piece of damp driftwood and looked out into the ocean.

I tried to concentrate as hard as I could, but nothing happened. Right before I was going to give up, I heard a sob, and many familiar voices. I looked out into the ocean and saw a big picture, like a TV screen, right on the horizon. My mom was in my dad's arms, crying while he was trying to keep it together, but tears were streaming down his cheeks as well.

Eli was sitting on my couch his head in his hands, griping his dark brown hair; crying his eyes out.

Then Alli was the one who was crying the hardest, screaming at nothing and clawing the couch. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT HER" She screeched throwing the couch pillow; it hit the book shelf and shattered the picture frame of me my mom dad and Darcy.

Then I started thinking about Darcy, the picture changed. She was at an airport, her hair was a few inches shorter and her eyes were bloodshot. She had an African American girl with her, she must have been her friend she made when she was in Kenya. The girl looked about her age, same height and long dark braided hair.

"I am so sorry about your sister" The girl said.

"Thanks Keana" she said taking her bags in both hands "You'd better go, I'll be okay" Darcy said.

"I'll call you later, whenever I can" Keana said, Darcy nodded and wiped a few tears away with her sleeve.

I suddenly started thinking about Adam, he was at his house curled up in a ball crying on his couch.

"Clare- you were- the- only one- who understood me-" He sobbed his mom came in the living room and handed him some tissues and a plate of macaroni. Fiona was sitting on the recliner and Drew was sitting on the love seat. Fiona looked petrified, along with Drew.

"Its okay- son" his mom said, she choked on the last word. I was happy for Adams mom understanding about him being a transgender, but I felt selfish for leaving him when he needed his friends the most.

"Clare, if you can hear me wherever you are, please-" He didn't finish his sentence. I could feel tears spilling over my cheeks.

I remembered KC, and all the heartbreak he had put me through.

I saw KC holding Jenna, while she was crying uncontrollably saying stuff about how she should have been a better friend, he was trying to calm her down; Jenna was also holding her two year old daughter in her hands, her big eyes sparkling, then I remembered I was supposed to babysit for them tomorrow while she and KC went to couples counseling.

I wondered how everybody knew I was already dead, did someone send out an email? I then closed my eyes and shook my head. When I re-opened my eyes everything was gone and I was watching the ocean, again. I checked the wrist watch on my arm it was 8, Alli and I left my house at 9 the previous night, so had it really been 12 hours? I got up from the drift wood and started walking towards the exit. If it was already 8 am on earth, then I would have had to baby sit for Jenna, and when she would have called my mom would have told her what happened, so that explains why her and KC knew.

Me, Eli, Alli, Drew, Adam and Fiona had plans, so that explained how they knew, but I wondered if anybody else did. Even if I was dead, I surely didn't want anybody to give me pity, and I didn't want to ruin everybody's life. It all seems my fault.

I got through the exit and started walking down the cobblestone sidewalk looking for Julia, sure enough she was sitting in the pizzeria looking aimlessly out the window. It was starting to get dark, so the sky was a mix between bright pink and blue.

I entered the restaurant and sat at the table with Julia. "How'd it go?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"I ruined everybody's life" I said staring at the argyle pattern on the table.

"No Tim Leon- I mean that guy- ruined your life" Julia said twisting the ring on her finger.

"You know who it was?" I asked looking directly at her.

"I was at the beach, because I had a weird feeling that something bad happened to Eli, and I saw the guy walking down the street, and I was actually there. Obviously you couldn't see me, I was screaming at you to run, and then when he pushed you into the alley, I went in to the café bathroom, where Alli was touching up her makeup, and I screamed at her, but no one could hear me." She said letting out a sigh.

"Oh my god" I said holding my head in my hands. "If I didn't refuse to go into the diner!-" I started crying again.

"It happens, everyday." Julia said. Just then a waitress came over to our table.

"Hi, I'm Julia Manning, I will be your sever today, do you want anything?" she said with a smile. She had the perfect smile and a long blonde hair tied into a pony tail the hung a few inches below her shoulders.

"Just, some water thanks" Julia said giving her a small smile.

"Okay then!" She said with a little too much cheer for a dead person.

"I have on question" I said to Julia wiping my tears.

"Why did Drew look so, pale, when I saw him at the beach?" I asked, Julia widened her eyes.

"What?" I hissed, Julia let out a long sigh.

"When Alli couldn't find you outside the diner, she called Drew, He was only a few blocks away anyway so she waited for him to arrive- when he did they saw Tim Leon run out of the Alley, she made Drew go down there and he found- your body" She said giving a pleading look.

"That's all I want to hear about how I died" I said, and then waitress came back with our drinks.

"Are you Clare Edwards?" Julia Manning asked.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I've seen you at Degrassi, well my daughter- Angela is supposed to be going their soon- and I wanted to see if the school was safe- my son Craig used to go there, your sister Darcy might know him" she said " I am sorry, this may be all new to you" she said again giving me a gentle smile.

"It is, but thanks anyway" I said and with that she smiled and walked off.

" So what do you want to do after we finish our water" Julia said taking sip out of her cup.

"Would you mind if I- I-" I started

"Talked about Eli? I don't mind, I kind of would like to gossip about him, nobody here is interested" She finished my sentence, I gave a small laugh.

"Yeah, I miss him so much" I said taking a sip of my water also.

"Me too, we can get a big bowl of popcorn and share secrets"

"Deal"

**I am kind of excited to write the next chapter... What could Eli be hiding? What do you think might happen? I love predictions! And I want to give a shout out to one of my amazing writer-friends Kristina Campbell. A.k.a EFlareDegrassi ! She is so talented! **


	4. Gossip Girls

**HEY! Guys sorry this took so long, I just got my braces on and am very behind in school so expect at least one chapter a week usually on Fridays :) But this may have some grammatical and spelling errors but nobody's perfect! **

Julia and I walked back to her loft; I was quite surprised how big it was.

Julia's loft was modern, bright colors, balanced with white couches and a glass coffee table and computer desk. In the pictures Eli showed me she was wearing all black and dark makeup. I didn't understand this girl at all.

Julia took off the grey pea-coat she had been wearing and draped it over the couch. I also took off the jean-jacket I had been wearing.

"Tube top? Really? Saint Clare?" Julia said eyeing me up and down.

"Alli said I should try something different... and not be 'Saint Clare'" I said, I hated that nickname, I don't even know how I got it, just because I used to wear a uniform to school and I was against breaking the rules that declares me a saint?

"I think you stopped being Saint Clare after you got with Eli" Julia said. "There should something you can change into in the dresser in the guest room, it's the second door in the right upstairs if you want to get changed now" Julia said walking over to the kitchen and pulling out two packages of microwave popcorn.

"Okay, thanks, I will." I said smiling at Julia and walking up the wooden staircase, once I got into the guest room I was amazed, it was all white, with a marble floor, the dresser was wooden and there was a mirror mounted over it. The bed had a white comforter and purple sheets with bright green throw pillows, I was seriously starting to wonder what happened to the dark and Goth Julia Eli had told me about, they seemed complete opposites.

I went over to the dresser and slowly opened it, it held at least a dozen pairs of florescent colored shorts and one pair of black ones, it also had a few tee-shirts with famous bands on them, one being 'My Chemical Romance', and others saying 'The Black Parade' but I looked carefully through them and soon enough I found the one I was looking for.

I found a black tee shirt with 'Dead hands' written across it in red. I sighed and grabbed a pair of lime green shorts and the dead hands tee shirt and got changed, this was going to be along- eternity.

I walked down the stairs, I could smell popcorn from the hallway.

Julia had two bowls of popcorn on the counter and two soda's next to them. As soon as Julia looked up at me she noticed my shirt.

"Oh, I thought I threw that one away" She said a little bit shaken. "Anyways, are you ready to know everything about Elijah Goldsworthy?" She asked smiling again and handing my popcorn and soda.

"As ready as I will ever be" I said as we both made our way to the couch.

Julia and I talked about Eli's secrets, the strange, and the funny, until our sides hurt from laughing.

"Clare, you are hilarious" Julia said taking a sip of soda and trying not to laugh. I was also hilariously laughing.

After we had calmed down I needed to ask Julia about the bright colors, it was nagging at me constantly.

"Julia, in all the pictures Eli showed me of you, you always had on dark colors, and now-"

"And now I look like a rainbow exploded? Yeah, I know, I do wear mostly black clothing-"-She said twisting the ring around her finger-"but it really hurt when I died, and Eli always wore black so- I changed" She stop twisting her ring and looked up at me, he brown eyes sparkling, like she was about to cry.

"I'm really sorry, I know, It hurts, I miss him so- so much" I said running a hand through my hair.

"I know the feeling" Julia gave a half hearted smile. Looked around quickly and noticed Julia's ring, it was the same one Eli's always had on.

"Julia, I'm just wondering, but is that Eli's ring?" I asked hoping she wouldn't take offense to how nosy I was being.

"Yeah, we both got one- It was out first date. We went to a carnival- when he still lived in New Market- we were at the seasonal carnival and it was getting really late-"

_ "Ellllliiii- stop itttt!" Julia laughed as Eli's fingers attacked her sides , "Eli- stop- tickling me!" Julia laughed again._

_ "But it's so much fun to make you laugh" Eli said using his signature smirk, Julia smiled and Eli looked into her eyes, his green orbs shining, he slowly leaned in until their lips were centimeters apart Julia could feel his breath on her lips- Julia quickly turned on her heels and leaned on the nearest games booth._

"_No kissing until you win me something" Julia said smiling deviously looking at Eli._

"_Okay then I will win you something" Eli looked at the concession stand worker and handed him four dollars. _

"_Okay sir, you have to knock down all the bottles in one throw" The worker said. _

"_Easy." The worker handed him three baseballs, Eli threw one and it missed by at least three inches. Julia giggled like a five year old, Eli blushed slightly being nervous about looking good in front of the girl that meant so much to him. He picked up the next baseball, his hands shaking slightly, Eli threw the ball but it missed by about an inch this time. Julia had to cover her mouth with her hand to muffle her laughter. _

_ "Third time's the charm" Eli said under his breath, He picked up the baseball and firmly gripped it in his hand he wound his hand back and threw the ball as hard as he could, it missed the bottles by barley a centimeter. Julia was hysterically laughing and this point and her sleeve couldn't hold in the laughter. _

"_Well, sir- um nice job, you get a matching pair of rings" The concession worker said handing them a plastic container that held two skull rings. Eli took the container and opened it and carefully took out one of the rings and slid it on his thumb. Eli then carefully took Julia's hand and slid the second ring on her thumb also, because it was too big for any other one of her fingers. _

"_I won you something, now I get a kiss" Eli said in a low voice slowly leaning in and lightly pressing his lips to Julia's. _

"Sounds like you and Eli had some pretty crazy times-" I said.

"I Bet you and Eli have had some of your cute moments too" Julia said taking a handful of popcorn.

"Well, we did fall asleep together in a hammock under the stars…" I said smiling at the memory.

"Details!" Julia squealed, this girl reminds me so much of Ali.

"Okay, it all started when my friend Adam wanted to impress this girl-"

**Reviews? I LOVE ideas for this story so if you have any then please tell! Reviews are niccceee :) **


	5. The Storm Of The Afterlife

**Just to let you know this is always in Clares P.O.V and reviews help, I love lengthy ones and suggestions! =) Enjoy 3 **

Once it got too late I went to the guest room, even when you're dead you still need sleep.

I slipped under the covers and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't, I kept thinking about Eli, our first kiss, our first date, when he would tell me how much I meant to him, how he couldn't live without me. Then I realized. He said he couldn't live without _me._ I wasn't with him anymore. What if he committed suicide because of _me_? Eli was smart, don't get me wrong, but he was emotionally unstable when I met him because Julia was gone, now I was gone and Adam was never really the comforting type.

I tossed and turned, every time I closed my eyes I could see Eli holding a gun to his head, or a knife to his throat, or him cutting. Tears flowed down my cheeks onto the soft satin pillows. Then all I could remember was when Eli held me in his arms when my parents fought so much my dad threw a vase at my mom, he told me everything would be okay. Eventually.

"_Helen you no good bitch! What the hell did you do this time! We are so behind in bills, why don't you get a goddamn job for a change!" Clare's father screamed, Clare had her ear pressed to her bedroom door and her phone tightly gripped in her left hand, the first 9 digits of Eli's phone number already dialed. _

"_Randall Calm down!" Clare mother screamed back, you could hear the strain in her voice, she was definitely scared. _

"_No Helen I'm tired of you! I bet whole lot Clare is too!" He screamed again resting his palm on the end table._

"_Don't you dare bring Clare into this" She screeched, Randall grabbed the flower pot off the end table and threw it at the wall as hard as he could, only inches from Clare's moms face. _

_Clare quickly dialed the last number of Eli's phone number and locked the lock on her door. Eli had picked up on the third ring._

"_Clare, its eleven at night, are you okay?" Eli asked, his voice tired. _

"_My parents are fighting, I just heard a loud crash downstairs, and Eli please come get me" Clare tired to keep her voice together but she couldn't she started sobbing hysterically._

"_Give me ten minutes, stay by your window, there are bushes under your window, you might have to jump into them, wait for me" Eli said then hanging up the phone, Eli hurried to Clare's house and stood below the window that led into Clare's room. Clare worriedly glanced out her window and saw Eli's standing there, with no expression on his face. _

"_Eli-" She said prying open the window frame. _

"_Clare come on!" He tried to say loud enough for her to hear but not to disturb her parents, Clare got the window open, but she could hear her dad's footsteps stomping up the stairs. She put one leg over the window sill and slipped out the window falling five feet into the bushes. Eli helped her out and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist and got her to Morty before something risky happened. Eli could here silent muffled cries coming from Clare. _

"_Shhh, It's okay, everything's okay, I'm here, if you want we can watch Twilight when we get to my place" Eli said trying to comfort the crying girl in his arms. _

I turned over so my face was suffocated in my pillow. Nothing was going to bring Eli back, nor was I ever going back. I kept thinking about Eli, I then decided I would check up on him, every few days, just to make sure he was okay. I couldn't stand not knowing what was going to happen every second I was gone. Eli was mine and I was his, until that one guy- Tim Leon- took everything I loved, everything I lived for- away. Now I was stuck in the 'in between' from heaven and earth. I wonder if this is hell in disguise.

I took in a shaky breath, the tears dried leaving my eyelids heavy, I silently thanked god that I wouldn't have to endure another moment of this sadness that was slowly taking over my new 'life'.

I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep, one that I wished I would never awake from, on where I could live in my wildest fantasy and nothing could bring me down. But soon enough morning would come.

* * *

I woke up to pale sunlight shining through the black curtains; I rubbed my eyes and got out of the bed, my bare feet hitting the freezing marble floor. I looked in the mirror that hung over the dresser. My eyes were red, my face was pale, and my usually curly hair was limp and not as vibrant.

I guess that's what dying does to you. I picked up the brush that was laid out on the top of the dresser and combed through my hair while staring aimlessly at my ghostly reflection in the mirror.

I looked though the other drawers of the dresser looking for something to wear; there were mostly white shorts, or black shorts, bright graphic tee's or dark low-cut tank tops. None of it was 'my style', until I found one pair of denim shorts; I figured it was as close as I was getting. I picked out he shorts and a blue and white striped polo and some white ballet flats.

After I got the clothes on I looked in the mirror, something wasn't right. I tip-toed into the hallway looking for a bathroom, and trying not to disturb Julia. Once I found the bathroom I carefully opened the door and locked it behind me. The bathroom had marble floors and a huge chandelier with lights coming off the end on the ceiling. The sink was huge, and had a mirror to match. Everything was porcelain, except for the rug that was in front of the huge Jacuzzi tub.

I looked around at all the makeup and hair products scattered around on the sink counter. I looked at all the mascara and blush brushes and makeup compacts everywhere. Then I found what I was looking for, there were several eyeliner pencils mostly dark colors but some surprisingly bright ones also.

I took the eyeliner pencil and opened the cap and carefully applied a few dark layers under my eyes, and then I looked in the mirror and smiled. I closed the cap and put it exactly where I found it hoping Julia wouldn't mind I 'borrowed' her makeup.

I quietly walked down the hallway and down the stairs to find Julia in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee.  
"Hey Clare, I see you found my make up" She said partially laughing and adding sugar to her coffee. Was it really that noticeable?

"Sorry, I just-" I said walking over to the counter.

"No worries, but you'd better eat something because you haven't had anything in at least a day" Julia said stirring her coffee.

"I have cereal… I'm not the best cook so…" Julia said turning around and opening the cabinets that revealed various types of cereals such as lucky charms, cookie crisp, chocolate cheerios and captain crunch.

"Pick your poison" Julia said grabbing her coffee off the counter. "They're all high in calories and sugar, but that's what makes 'em taste good" Julia said again sipping her coffee.

"I think I'll have to go with chocolate cheerios" I said grabbing the box out of the counter.

Julia had go down to amusement park 'Fantasy Land'; apparently she had a job there. I sat in her apartment trying not to think about Eli or Alli, or my mom or my dad. It was too hard. Eventually I couldn't take the silence and I put on my jacket and headed out side, I didn't know where I was going I just needed some air.

I walked down the streets, I saw kids who got reunited with their parents, laughing and playing on the swing sets, teenagers who died in car crashes, everybody looked so incredibly happy for being dead. Was I the only one who was downright miserable? The image that hurt me the most was a teenage couple, they were sitting on a bench in the park gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. I thought they looked familiar, and then I put the pieces together. About a week ago, when I was still on earth I saw a headline in the paper: _Engaged teens killed in vicious hit-and-run around Roxbury street, memorial will be held in central park at 9pm Saturday. _I remember how my mom said they went to school in the next town over. I was truly jealous of them. The girl- Lianne and the boy- Peter had each other. He would tell her everything's okay and not to worry.

Of course Julia told me everything would work out, but I wish I had Eli here- I wish Eli was dead.

I wanted to slap myself for the thought, Eli _dead_? No.

I walked down the street until I came to the same pizzeria I was at yesterday- and right around the corner was the same beach. Of course I wanted to know how Eli was doing- and Adam and my friends and family.

I walked into the beach, looking for a decent place to sit, I found a place in the sand- it was cold because the sky was dark with clouds, it looked like it would start pouring any minute. I stared out into ocean, trying not to concentrate on anything in particular.

Soon enough I saw Eli sitting cross-legged on his bed and his eyes were red, his black hair was messy and sticking up in all directions, his hands were shaking violently and he looked completely- insane. I pressed my lips together and tried not to cry, I thought about Adam then the picture changed.

"Clare you're the only one who- understood- me" Adam kept repeating over and again, he was curled up in a ball in the same place as he was yesterday- there were plates of barley touched food all over the coffee table in front of him and tissues everywhere.

"Adam- Drew and your father and I are going over to the Edwards- Do you want to come?" His mom said from the other room.

"No-" He choked out. I was about to start thinking about Darcy- but then something Adam did caught my eye. As soon as his parents and Drew walked out the door; Adam went upstairs into his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. He took out a pill bottle of Oxycodone. Adam carefully un-screwed the cap and poured most of the pills in his hand.

"Clare, you understood me- Eli won't ever be the same- Fiona likes somebody else- my mom doesn't understand me- Life isn't worth it anymore" He said looking up, like he was looking for me.

"NO! ADAM NO!" I screeched like he could hear me, He took pill by pill until every one of them was gone- He looked in the mirror, his face was slightly paler but he still looked like Adam.

Adam walked down stairs- stumbling a few times- and into his kitchen where he took out a pen and paper- he started scribbling down words a suicide note- most of the words were slanted upwards- Adam swayed a little when he tried to stand but he looked okay- until he tried to walk back to the couch, he collapsed on the wood floor.

Tears were rolling down my eyes, before I got up I saw Drew- he looked a little worried and told he mom he was going to check on Adam- I didn't have the heart to watch him find his brother unconscious- or even dead. Why did it always have to be Drew?

I got up and started running as fast as I could; I needed to find Julia- It started to rain as soon as I ran through the gate of the beach. It was coming down incredibly hard all the kids were getting into their parents cars- people were running into diners while I was just running aimlessly.

I turned a corner and ran right in to a man holding a newspaper above his head- I landed in a puddle; the man outstretched his arm to help me up.

"Where are you going?" he asked

"Do you know where Fantasy Land park is?" I asked brushing off my soaked shorts.

"Fantasy Land is down around that corner- but it's not the best time to be going-" The man started- before he could finish I took off running towards the corner, my flats were splashing in the puddles- to only make matters worse the wind picked up blowing rain in my face, so much for my eyeliner. I blinked rapidly as I saw two huge gates and a sign that said "Fantasy Land" mounted above it.

I saw tons of people piling out of the entrance with objects over there head to shield them from the rain- but I saw all the employee's still their positions.

I ran over to one of the workers in a Blue polo that had "Fantasy Land" Embroidered on the left sleeve. "Do you know a Julia Malone?" I asked blinking though the downpour.

"Yeah she's cleaning out the lockers by the water park" the guy said pointing towards a long row of green lockers covered by a straw roof. I ran over there to find Julia in her blue polo and her black hair tied up with a matching blue visor hat on top.

"Julia!" I said leaning against a locker catching my breath.

"Clare what are you doing here?" Julia asked using her keys to open a locker.

"Adam tried to commit suicide- and I think it worked" I said, she immediately stopped what she was doing and looked at me.

"What?" She said shoving her keys in her pocket and slamming the locker shut again.

"He overdosed on Oxycodone" I said still panting.

" Oh no- Um come here" Julia grabbed my arm and ran out into the progressing storm, all the roller coasters where shut down and it was grey an cloudy- it almost looked like a five year olds nightmare.

Julia pulled me into a small building that had "Employee's only" on the door. An obese man with white hair and a red polo shirt had his legs up on a desk and was reading a newspaper.

"Eddie- I know I took some time off but my friend- Adam just tried to commit suicide and-"Julia started- the guy looked up from his paper and brought his legs off the desk.

"No worries Jules- were shutting down anyway- we probably won't be open tomorrow because this storm is supposed to last a few days so I'll call you tomorrow" The man said in a husky voice.

"Thanks Ed" She said.

"Come on Clare we need to go back to the beach"

**So? What do you think will happen? Will Adam make it? Or not? I love lengthy reviews, and reviews in general, and PREDICTIONS? Haha You guys rock my world 3 **


	6. Chapter 6

I really hate doing this to my stories- but here it goes- I can't update cause I've had major writers block. BUT I write cute little blurbs of fanfiction when they come to me, which will be added on this blog .com/ I've only got a few posted but I have tons pre-written.

Also keep up with my other Tumblr .com/ and my twitter /#!/MistyRiquier_98 ! Sorry again! I love you guys 3 and I really haven't had any inspiration to write either so….


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